Imagine that you are at a crossroads with your partner. Arguments, misunderstandings, and the feeling that you are speaking two different languages is common. Marriage and Family Therapists are the unsung heroes who help unravel these knots.
Marriage and Family Therapists (MFTs), are not only for couples at the edge of divorce. The MFTs also help families deal with various issues. The MFT wears many hats. From coping to grieving, they can help with anything. They do? Help people to communicate more effectively, solve conflicts and build stronger bonds.
Imagine Sarah and John who have been married ten years. They feel like they are roommates, not partners. The couple decided to seek out MFT help after yet another disagreement about money spiraled into chaos. The therapist did not wave a magic spell or give a solution for all. The therapist created a space in which both parties could freely express themselves, without any fear of judgement.
She gently asked “John” during a one-on-one session “How does it make you feel when Sarah talks about money?” John hesitated at first, but then opened up to Sarah about his fear of financial instability. His concern was born out of his early childhood. Sarah’s eyes were opened by the revelation. She had thought John was stubborn and not afraid.
Therapists tailor their techniques to meet the specific needs of every family. Some may engage in role-playing activities to assist individuals with seeing things from a different perspective. Other people may use cognitive-behavioral approaches to help change the negative thoughts that lead to conflict.
Therapy isn’t all smooth sailing. The commitment of all involved parties is required. It is possible to feel exposed and raw after tough discussions and emotional moments. It’s in these moments of vulnerability that healing truly begins.
Think of the Martinez Family who were dealing with their rebellious teenage son, after moving to a new city due to the job transfer for Mr. Martinez–a decision he was not thrilled about! They were encouraged to hold weekly family gatherings where they could all voice their issues openly, but with respect. There would be no interruptions. As time went on, these sessions were less about airing concerns and more about working together to find solutions.
Most people do not realize how many hours of training it takes to be an MFT. This is no easy task! Before they can work independently, these professionals must complete rigorous training and gain clinical experience under supervision.
We need to talk about the stigma that still surrounds therapy, especially among some cultures and age groups. They view it as weakness instead of strength. Do you fix your own car if it breaks down, even though you don’t have any mechanical abilities? Most likely not, you’d immediately call the mechanics because they have been trained to know what they are doing.
So, why is mental health any different? Wouldn’t seeking professional advice make sense if you feel something off, emotionally or in a relationship?
Let’s be funny: Imagine yourself trying to do DIY therapy by using only self-help materials. That’s like trying to perform surgery while you’re watching Grey’s Anatomy. That’s not exactly the best idea, is it? While these resources may provide some insight, nothing can beat the personalized care of someone with a specific training in this field.
Hey, remember the idioms you heard earlier? It’s time to use another idiom: “It is important that both partners work hard in a relationship.” This means successful relationships are based on the efforts of both parties. Sometimes having someone lead you through those steps can be all it takes for you and your partner to dance gracefully once again.
The MFTs’ holistic approach to treatment is what makes them stand out. Not just treating isolated symptoms, but also considering the larger context and relationships within a family.
Next time you find yourself in relationship trouble, seek professional help. You might be surprised at the positive results.